About 25 years ago, in 1996 to be exact, my life and health took a sudden and drastic turn. I was the picture of perfect health, living my life to the fullest, taking life for granted, being young and invincible when I started experiencing repeated episodes of every type of minor ailments imaginable such as strep throat, upper respiratory infections, bladder infections, colds, sinusitis, ear infections, excruciating headaches, and visual disturbances. Nothing life-threating, just everyday illnesses that gave a clue that my immune system was not working at full capacity.
This was out of the ordinary for me. I rarely got sick although I do have a health history related to my traumatic birth. I didn't think much of it at the time. Again, I was young and healthy, and had no reason to believe that anything could be seriously wrong with my health. I made many visits to my doctor who also was not concerned. He would treat the problem and send me on my way. As this pattern continued, I became concerned because I began to feel extremely fatigued. I remember an experience where I had a migraine with visual auras which blinded me for about 15 minutes. When it was over, I was so drained that I could not lift my head from the pillow. Meanwhile, I had to pick up my children from school. My body felt like dead weight. I had to literally use my hands to lift my head off the pillow and to put my legs and feet in position to lift myself off the couch. I had no energy. My body felt weak and lifeless. Only by the grace of God was I able to get up, even though it felt like I was floating, and pick up my children from school and go through the Mommy motions until bedtime when I collapsed into bed.
The minor ailments stopped and depression, weight loss, lack of energy, palpitations, tachycardia, hypertension, and fatigue took over to the point where I could barely function. This became the new pattern as this illness progressed. I shared my concerns with my doctor that I felt something was very wrong and he persisted to tell me that it was all in my head. I even humored him and said, even if my head is causing me to be sick, I am having real symptoms that need to be treated. He didn't think it was too funny and would not bend from his assessment that it was all in my head and all I needed to do was change my thinking. I am a strong believer. The Word of God does say "so as a man/woman thinks so is he/she" Proverbs 23:7; that has its place; God does have the power to perform miraculous healings although sometimes He sends us through a process with steps of faith that we have to take, yet still in the end, miracles are experienced and witnessed. However, God's Word also says "faith without works is dead" James 2:17. It was evident that this was not going to be a "just say the word and your servant will be healed" Matthew 8:8 type of healing; one that would take place immediately through words and thoughts alone. There had to be action and leaps of faith for the work God was doing through this illness. I knew that there needed to be some sort of intervention, but I didn't know what type. I didn't know what was happening to me. I felt as though I was in the twilight zone. I knew I wasn't going crazy. My mind was very sound. My body was breaking down; something was very wrong.
As the months went by and as I lived in "the shadow of death", I changed doctors and went on a full out search of what was happening to me. During that time there was a week that I could not sleep. I don't mean that I wasn't getting enough sleep. I literally did not fall asleep for a week; not one wink of sleep. I tried hot baths, warm milk, mild sleep aids, reading, tv and nothing worked. My body was revved up and nothing could bring it down. I thought I would certainly die from sleep deprivation after that. Each day was a struggle to get through the basics of caring for myself and my children, and basically staying alive and figuring out what was wrong and how to get past this.
Prior to being diagnosed with Cushings I worked in the entertainment business doing commercials and print ads. I came to a crossroad in my career and had to make some choices. I reached the point in my career where I rarely had to audition for a role. I had become known in the business and producers would call my agents and request me by name. The time had come to take my "acting" career to the next level. This is where I began to pray and seek God's will about which way I should go. I go to Him for every decision I make, big and small. The start of this illness was the answer that came to my prayers. Ironically, the illness attacked my appearance, the one thing required to continue a career in "show biz". I couldn't have moved forward in my career if I wanted to. I was not me anymore. I was not the me that the industry came to know and recognize, so there was my answer. I looked like monster.
As this mysterious illness progressed, I lost 15 pounds in 1 week and my organs begin to shut down. I was admitted to the hospital. I went unconscious for a period of time so I'm not sure what happened. All I remember is waking up to my doctor saying welcome back. I was extremely dehydrated. My labs were all over the place. The nurse informed me that they had taken drug tests that came back clear. My response was "I could have told you that" but I suppose they had to see for themselves that I was neither an alcoholic nor a drug addict. In fact, I lived a very clean and healthy lifestyle. I never smoked, drank, used drugs, I wasn't promiscuous, I exercised, ate right... Sadly, after all was said and done, I discovered that stress and the cortisol produced by it were the drugs destroying my health and life. Over the next 2 weeks, I gained 60 pounds. I had never been overweight. This was all very bazaar.
At this point my family got involved. They pressed the doctor to do more testing and to dig deeper to find out what had gone awry with my health. After about 6 months since the onset of symptoms, my doctor sent me to several specialists including cardiology, psychiatry, pulmonology, nephrology, and endocrinology amongst others. All except psychiatry and endocrinology gave a good report. Psychiatry tried to claim that I was bipolar, but I knew that wasn't correct and they didn't have enough evidence to prove it, so they deleted the diagnosis from my record.
The endocrinologist called me into his office to discuss his findings with me. He said, "I know you have been through a very difficult period not knowing what is causing your health problems, however, based on the testing performed, I am able to make a definitive diagnosis." I felt relieved, and I started to cry even before hearing what he had to say. He went on to tell me that I had Cushing's Syndrome. He was very open and honest in explaining that it was a rare disease and he had only learned about it in medical school but had never actually treated a Cushing's patient. For that reason, he referred me to the best endocrinologist in the field to care for me through this health crisis. But first, I went to NIH for a study of Cushing's patients. I was there for a month and then I went to Michigan where I would see Dr. Schteingart at the University of Michigan Health System.
At this point, I was in the thick of Cushing's. The only way out was in. Without treatment the prognosis did not look good. High cortisol, consistent over a period of time, results in death. This is what I was faced with. Next... Read Adrenal Failure - Cushing's phase.
Comments
Post a Comment